Ah, Reality...

Things with our adoption process have been fairly quiet up until today when our case worker called, but before I go into that I'll give you a little back story first. I think I have mentioned in previous posts that I'm a sign language interpreter. (If I haven't, well now you know!) This past week has been the professional organization I belong to/am certified through's national conference. It was close enough that I figured it would be wise to go. Within the organization there are multiple smaller groups for members to be a part of, and I am of course a member of the LGBTQQI group. That being said, I went to any and all workshops and events hosted by them with the exception of a breakfast that neither Mama S (yup, she came along to be a tourist) nor I could get ourselves up for. Translation for those who are still wondering why I went on about all this, it means my little gay-o-meter was on full and I had forgotten all about all the rights we're lacking and the frustrations I have over things like letting lesbians and gay men serve openly in the military but not allowing their partners to have benefits. I digress...

So back to the main reason why I decided to blog while in the car, headed home from conference (don't worry, Mama S is driving). Our caseworker called not long after we started heading back and said that there had been a bit of a problem. Due to the fact that, despite us being LEGALLY married in another state, because Florida did not recognize our marriage, she could not have us both on the home study report for certification. We had to pick who would be "the parent" and despite her insistence that there would be notes made in the report that the non-listed parent would be co-parenting, it still came at us out of no where. We knew we would have to do that eventually, as we couldn't both be on the birth certificate, but we thought it would be AFTER we had been certified and had found a child together. Frankly, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. We told her we would discuss it and call her back. Thus ensued the angry tears and the discussion neither one of us felt prepared to have. A little while later she called us back and said she explained the situation to her boss and was told that we could have two separate home study reports done (one for each of us), listing one another extensively in each other's reports. It made things a little better, but it feels more like an ice pack was put on the bruise caused by the punch to the gut, and it doesn't take the hurt away completely. This still means that we'll be certified seperately and our casewirker has more work to do (bless her!), but I suppose I should just count the blessings of knowing that we will both be certified to adopt. This was our reality check though, that we live in a place that views us as second class citizens who, despite paying taxes like everyone else, still have to go through things our straight peers would never think possible. I know that we can't wait for the day when the orientation of family won't matter. Until then, we'll just keep plugging along, trying to change our little corner of the world.

Home Visit: Part Two

Maybe a more appropriate title for this post would have been "Home Visit: Part Two of Two" as this was probably the last one we will need to have for our Home Study.  Yes, you read that right.  Our case worker told us that she probably wouldn't need to come back out to our home again, but would email or call us if she found a reason to.  Today's visit was a bit more relaxed and she took down my family history then talked with us about how we handle anger and also how we expect to discipline our future kiddos.  She seemed relieved to hear that we weren't expecting to have perfect children who didn't have any sort of baggage as there are apparently many families who seem to be under the delusion that adopting a child out of foster care means they come pre-programmed to be perfect.  Our children won't be perfect, but they will be perfect for us and that's what matters in our eyes.  

At this point we're kind of left unsure of what's next.  We know that she has to type up her reports and upload all of the pictures of us, our furry babies and our house to her report.  I would assume she will also check with our references to make sure that we aren't some crazy ax murders (so those of you who were enlisted to be our references better be prepared! (j/k)).  Unlike our first set of submitted documents to our original case worker, we weren't asked for a medical disclosure signed by our doctor, but we did have to sign a form saying that we were healthy enough to care for kids, so that's done.  I suppose that now it's just the waiting game, which we've gotten pretty good at as of late.  At least it gives me time to finish the scrapbook she needs for our file to show potential children.  That's all for now though, at least until we hear if we've been approved or have to have another home visit...we shall see!