Adoption 101/102, Child Inquiries and Other Such News

Despite the title of this blog, you all may be spared from my usual lengthly rambling.  It's the beginning of the school year AND I have too many pots in the fire (I know, hard to believe!), aside from the addition of 40 full-time work hours to my week that I didn't have during summer break.  All that rambling being said...it seems as just in the few weeks since I last blogged that we have gone miles in our process but also baby steps.  Yes, those are conflicting statements, but it's the feeling Mama S and I have at the moment. 

I'll touch on the short points before telling the nitty gritty of where we are in the process.  As I mentioned in my last post, Mama S and I were registered for Adoption 101/102.  We were thrilled to go, as it gave us more in-depth information about any post adoption benefits (insurance, subsidies, therapies, etc) as well as what kind of baggage to expect our kiddos to come with and how to best parent to meet their needs.  Another nice thing about our training was that our caseworker was actually the teacher of it, so we had the chance to get to know her a little better with out the Homestudy panic attack involved.  

The class also came with the welcome of a familiar face.  One of the women who was in our MAPP classes was also in attendance.  We got to have a moment of celebration with her as she shared that this was her FINAL step before the adoption of her 2 little ones was finalized later in the week.  Talk about a joyous moment!  She has had an especially trying road, and we are thrilled that things are finally looking up for her little family.  :-)

Two final notes about the class and then I'll dive into what's happening within our process.  Our class consisted of between 10-15 people from various walks in the process.  Mixed within  the group was another lesbian couple and a caseworker from another county (the county my school is in actually).  I was thrilled to see the other couple there because I would love to develop some kind of LGBT parent network within our city, as we often need the support of one another when it comes to knowing who accepting therapists are, which schools are supportive of alternative families and what lawyers will help develop documents to meet the needs of your unique family.  It also so happened that one of the women knows some sign and we began conversing in sign during one of our breaks.  The caseworker noticed this and she and I struck up a conversation.  It turns out that she currently has a Deaf child on her caseload who has already been placed, but wants a copy of our homestudy to keep on file in case she has another one come through.  Talk about exciting!!!  

Alright, now I'll fill you all in on where we are going from here.  We are still awaiting the completion of Mama S's Homestudy report, but we have been told to go ahead and inquire on kids under my completed report.  So far, we have submitted inquiries on 2 children, and are now awaiting responses from both their caseworkers.  At this point all I'll share about them is that one is a 16 year old girl (yes, we are both mental) and the other is a boy who's 9.  IF their caseworkers feel that we are a good match, we will get more information than the little we already have, and we can decide whether or not to proceed.  If we do proceed, their workers will call staffing meetings (especially if there are multiple families vying for the same child) and, from my understanding, essentially interview us. No pressure, right?!?  If we pass that and the workers decide that we are a good match for the kiddo in question, they then arrange a time and place for us to meet the child.  We then get to spend time on and off with the child until they decide to allow them to stay with us for a weekend.  The kicker is that most workers won't provide you with the child's full file/history until AFTER you've spent time with the child and have gotten attached.  In a way, we understand why they do this, but neither Mama S, nor myself are thrilled with the witholding of information, as it seems so unfair to the child in case the family sees something they can't handle within the history, but I'll avoid that soapbox for now.  If the kiddo comes to visit for a weekend and still seems to do well within our family, then their worker will move for temporary placement, which is a period of time lasting between 90-120 days.  As long as all our home visits go well after placement, there is a motion to adopt filed and we get to adopt our child.  Basically, we're still in a waiting game, but it's a different stage in the waiting game.  From what we've been told, from time of inquiry to motion to adopt generally takes 8-12 months.  The process is slow and steady, but it will hopefully allow us to be matched with a child who will grow and thrive within our family.  

Upon reviewing all the words I have just poured out on this page, I suppose I didn't stay true to the possibility of not having a lengthy ramble, but at least everyone is caught up to date.  We are continuing to believe firmly that God has a plan for our family and that everything happens for a reason and at the appropriate time.  With that being said, now we wait!

Have Home Study, Will Inquire!

Drumroll please...OUR HOME STUDY HAS BEEN COMPLETED!!!! 43 days from first home visit to now and 6 months 2 weeks and 1 day after our case was first assigned to a worker, I was finally able to go and sign our completed home study. Our caseworker decided to do two separate home study reports so we can both feel included in the process, but with our full histories in one another's and the only diffence is the order the names will be listed in. She emailed us Monday with my report to have the two of us read over, check for accuracy and send back to her. In totality it's 36 pages of background info, interviews, financial info, pictures and child preferences. The best part was getting to the very end of the home study report and seeing the following:
"... it is the recommendation of [agency] that the following course of action be taken on this placement/license:

Adoptive Home:

(X) Approve
( ) Denied"

Not gonna lie, I definitely cried. Tears were both from joy and relief that this part is over and we can finally move forward. I was even a total geek and screen-printed the screen so I can scrapbook it. (Mama S is fairly sure I've lost my marbles on that part, oh well!) I didn't tell Mama S that we had been approved until after she got home from work, and she was thrilled, though still thought I was cute for crying (again). We knew nothing was official until it had the necessary signatures, but we were finally getting close. Then, yesterday we were told by our case worker that we just needed one more document signed and notarized and we would be good to go, which we had done today. I called her to let her know, in case she had to arrange a meeting before we proceeded. Instead, she told me I could go ahead and come down to the office to sign the papers, as she was done with my report. (The sooner we had one completed the sooner we could inquire about a child/children.)

So, now we are all signed, sealed and complete. In the next few days we'll receive info on where to place inquiries on kids and the process is rather tedious from here, but we both feel comforted knowing that it means we won't be rushed into adopting a child that may not thrive in our family. Between now and finding a child there are many things we can do to become the best family possible for our potential kiddos by attending trainings and meetings on adoption. As it stands, our worker has us registered for an all day workshop she will be teaching called "Adoption 101/102", where we'll learn more about what to expect from a child coming out of foster care and how to care for them in an appropriate way given the traumas they have experienced previously. The class is only offered once in a blue moon, so when she told us about it we cleared out schedules and signed up immediately. I know it's going to be heavy content, but I can't wait to better prepare ourselves for our kids.

In closing, I have to say it feels so good to know that I can say "our kids" and know that us becoming a family isn't just a pipe dream, that it's finally coming to us. We still have a ways to go, but we're finally getting somewhere along the path. I also have to say, we couldn't have gotten so far without the support of our family and friends. Thank you all for all your love, support and shoulders when this road got rocky. You all mean the world to us and we can't wait for the day when we can tell you that our family is growing.