I'll touch on the short points before telling the nitty gritty of where we are in the process. As I mentioned in my last post, Mama S and I were registered for Adoption 101/102. We were thrilled to go, as it gave us more in-depth information about any post adoption benefits (insurance, subsidies, therapies, etc) as well as what kind of baggage to expect our kiddos to come with and how to best parent to meet their needs. Another nice thing about our training was that our caseworker was actually the teacher of it, so we had the chance to get to know her a little better with out the Homestudy panic attack involved.
The class also came with the welcome of a familiar face. One of the women who was in our MAPP classes was also in attendance. We got to have a moment of celebration with her as she shared that this was her FINAL step before the adoption of her 2 little ones was finalized later in the week. Talk about a joyous moment! She has had an especially trying road, and we are thrilled that things are finally looking up for her little family. :-)
Two final notes about the class and then I'll dive into what's happening within our process. Our class consisted of between 10-15 people from various walks in the process. Mixed within the group was another lesbian couple and a caseworker from another county (the county my school is in actually). I was thrilled to see the other couple there because I would love to develop some kind of LGBT parent network within our city, as we often need the support of one another when it comes to knowing who accepting therapists are, which schools are supportive of alternative families and what lawyers will help develop documents to meet the needs of your unique family. It also so happened that one of the women knows some sign and we began conversing in sign during one of our breaks. The caseworker noticed this and she and I struck up a conversation. It turns out that she currently has a Deaf child on her caseload who has already been placed, but wants a copy of our homestudy to keep on file in case she has another one come through. Talk about exciting!!!
Alright, now I'll fill you all in on where we are going from here. We are still awaiting the completion of Mama S's Homestudy report, but we have been told to go ahead and inquire on kids under my completed report. So far, we have submitted inquiries on 2 children, and are now awaiting responses from both their caseworkers. At this point all I'll share about them is that one is a 16 year old girl (yes, we are both mental) and the other is a boy who's 9. IF their caseworkers feel that we are a good match, we will get more information than the little we already have, and we can decide whether or not to proceed. If we do proceed, their workers will call staffing meetings (especially if there are multiple families vying for the same child) and, from my understanding, essentially interview us. No pressure, right?!? If we pass that and the workers decide that we are a good match for the kiddo in question, they then arrange a time and place for us to meet the child. We then get to spend time on and off with the child until they decide to allow them to stay with us for a weekend. The kicker is that most workers won't provide you with the child's full file/history until AFTER you've spent time with the child and have gotten attached. In a way, we understand why they do this, but neither Mama S, nor myself are thrilled with the witholding of information, as it seems so unfair to the child in case the family sees something they can't handle within the history, but I'll avoid that soapbox for now. If the kiddo comes to visit for a weekend and still seems to do well within our family, then their worker will move for temporary placement, which is a period of time lasting between 90-120 days. As long as all our home visits go well after placement, there is a motion to adopt filed and we get to adopt our child. Basically, we're still in a waiting game, but it's a different stage in the waiting game. From what we've been told, from time of inquiry to motion to adopt generally takes 8-12 months. The process is slow and steady, but it will hopefully allow us to be matched with a child who will grow and thrive within our family.
Upon reviewing all the words I have just poured out on this page, I suppose I didn't stay true to the possibility of not having a lengthy ramble, but at least everyone is caught up to date. We are continuing to believe firmly that God has a plan for our family and that everything happens for a reason and at the appropriate time. With that being said, now we wait!
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