I need to preface this post by explaining where we are in the process. For those of you following along on facebook, we have had our final home visit for our home study, and the only thing that stands in the way of having it totally done, signed, sealed, and delivered is the pile of paperwork sitting on our dinning room table waiting to be finished. (All 26 pages of it.) This being said, we have a new case worker, who is fabulous, and who was willing to go ahead and inquire about the child we are interested in adopting. This is a big deal considering we are close but not yet done with our home study. Now...zoom to the next paragraph...
So today we received the Child Study for the child we are interested in and it was a hard pill to swallow. There are many good things but there are also many not so good things, so this will be a difficult decision. Our kiddo is coming over to read it with me tomorrow during the day and with Mama S during the evening. I have been at my wits end obsessing (like I do) about what to do. I feel this extreme sense of responsibility for this child's future. Our new case worker (who is wonderful by the way) is supposed to talk with us next week, so nothing has to be decided immediately, but I feel like the more we discuss it the better suited we are at possibly coming to a conclusion when we speak with her.
As you can tell, I am still obsessing, and totally needed a reminder of what needed to be considered most. Before blogging, I got on Pinterest, and there, "picked for me" was this photo:
I have no shame and can freely admit that I cried. We need to remember that this child is more than their Child Study. It can be hard to do, but so necessary. Thanks to the universe, G-d, or whoever on Pinterest knew that I needed that reminder.
This part has been so agonizing partly because we had already met our kiddo by the time we saw her child study, so it was not really a big deal. Her worker had told us about her history, and it was a much more organic process. This feels much different in that we have to "play by the rules" and go through the motions of accepting a child based on an eight page life story. Of course there is more to it than that, we still will have to be matched, and a full disclosure meeting would have to happen before meeting this child, but we are expected to decide whether or not we go through with the next phase just by what we see on eight 8x11.5 pages sent via email.
Anyways, I am obviously still worried about making the right and healthy decision for our family. Thank G-d this decision isn't being made solely by me, or else I may need to be committed by the end of the week. I will be sure to write and let everyone know what we decided as a family when the time comes. For now, be well and I'll write again soon!
