Full Disclosure And A Visit!

For those of you who were dying to know how the meeting went, I figured I should sit and write all about it...both for your sakes and my own with my memory.  It's funny, people say that when your first child comes around you document like crazy.  Everything is going in the blog or scrapbook and not an iota of a detail is left out.  Then, when it comes time to have a second child, all that kind of goes away.  Sure, you update here and there and you have a scrapbook potentially set aside just for them, but the same urgency everything was done with for the first child has changed with your second.  I swore this would not happen to me, but then I look around and realize it has.  Oops.  I just want my girls to know that I love them both very much, in spite of my documentation abilities.  

So back to what's really important...the full disclosure meeting.  We got started late as we all had to cram into a tiny office as there were no conference rooms available.  I would venture to say the office was not much bigger than my dining room and part of my kitchen combined and we had ten adults in there with a large desk and tiny round table for us to all "sit" around.  We were then handed copies of the child study, which is a document similar to what we have on us but it outlines traumas, foster homes, and the like.  The majority of the child study was from 2009 and was rather lengthy.  When we finally got to the current one, it was almost two hours into the meeting.  Our girly girl's file is much shorter than our kiddo's file, and we did not even open it until it came time for us to receive it.  I have it sitting beside me as I type this and am astounded at how little it holds comparatively speaking.  

After we received the file, the topic of visits was up for discussion, as now they have to report the visits to the judge.  Everyone agreed that we should go ahead that day and have a visit, so one of our girly's girls foster parents (who was in attendance at the meeting) made arrangements with us to have a late lunch (because by this point it is going on 2:30pm!) so we all could visit.  Our wonderful adoption recruiter came with us to ensure everything was good.  We had the best time!!!  Lots of smiles and laughing.  When it came time for us to part ways we picked the next visit for Sunday (yes, tomorrow!) at a place that is closer to us than they usually are, so we are going to be hopping in the car and taking a drive to meet for dinner, but I think it will be one of my fondest dinner memories to date (the other fond ones being our kiddo's birthday dinner when she turned 17 at Carrabas (yes, that I still remember vividly)).  All three of us are going, as are both of our girly girl's foster parents, and of course the girl of the hour!  We are so looking forward to this visit.  For those of you following along on facebook, look for some pics! :)  

Catching Up

Much has happened since my previous post...We decided against going forward with the previously mentioned child, our case worker decided to stall our process until mid-May, and we have since found (thanks to a dear friend and former case worker of our kiddo) a child that seems to fit our family to a tee. Oh, and our kiddo moved back home. It's been an interesting, fun, and occasionally frustrating rollercoaster, but isn't that how life always is? 

Now that we have our completed home study and match staffing (when they cross examine us about why we would be a good fit for a specific child) behind us, we are ready to move onward to the full disclosure meeting. During this we get the child's file and hit the highlights with the folks who are involved with them. Fortunately for us, our kiddo and I have already met this child through a stroke of brilliance on the part of the adoption recruiter. Unfortunately Mama S had to work the day we met the child and so she will have to wait until our first official visit, which will hopefully be soon. Until then, we just have to be patient and wait, which is much easier said than done.

We have not yet announced on Facebook who the child is other than that they are a teenager, so those of you following our process, stay tuned because mums the word until our first visit. I can hardly wait to share that part of our journey, but it needs to wait until we are certain that this child will not only fit with our family, by that they are interested in being part of it as well. Until then, be well every one! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we have the full disclosure meeting this Thursday. Thank you for your love and support!

The Child Study

I need to preface this post by explaining where we are in the process. For those of you following along on facebook, we have had our final home visit for our home study, and the only thing that stands in the way of having it totally done, signed, sealed, and delivered is the pile of paperwork sitting on our dinning room table waiting to be finished. (All 26 pages of it.) This being said, we have a new case worker, who is fabulous, and who was willing to go ahead and inquire about the child we are interested in adopting. This is a big deal considering we are close but not yet done with our home study. Now...zoom to the next paragraph...

So today we received the Child Study for the child we are interested in and it was a hard pill to swallow. There are many good things but there are also many not so good things, so this will be a difficult decision. Our kiddo is coming over to read it with me tomorrow during the day and with Mama S during the evening. I have been at my wits end obsessing (like I do) about what to do. I feel this extreme sense of responsibility for this child's future. Our new case worker (who is wonderful by the way) is supposed to talk with us next week, so nothing has to be decided immediately, but I feel like the more we discuss it the better suited we are at possibly coming to a conclusion when we speak with her. 

As you can tell, I am still obsessing, and totally needed a reminder of what needed to be considered most. Before blogging, I got on Pinterest, and there, "picked for me" was this photo:

I have no shame and can freely admit that I cried. We need to remember that this child is more than their Child Study. It can be hard to do, but so necessary. Thanks to the universe, G-d, or whoever on Pinterest knew that I needed that reminder. 

This part has been so agonizing partly because we had already met our kiddo by the time we saw her child study, so it was not really a big deal. Her worker had told us about her history, and it was a much more organic process. This feels much different in that we have to "play by the rules" and go through the motions of accepting a child based on an eight page life story. Of course there is more to it than that, we still will have to be matched, and a full disclosure meeting would have to happen before meeting this child, but we are expected to decide whether or not we go through with the next phase just by what we see on eight 8x11.5 pages sent via email. 

Anyways, I am obviously still worried about making the right and healthy decision for our family. Thank G-d this decision isn't being made solely by me, or else I may need to be committed by the end of the week. I will be sure to write and let everyone know what we decided as a family when the time comes. For now, be well and I'll write again soon! 

Home Study: Take Two

Thanks to many things getting in our way, we did not complete our homestudy last summer, but we are working on it again currently because we have found a child we would like to potentially adopt! Yes, you read that right...we have found a potential sibling for our girl and we are all (our kiddo included) excited. Of course, the excitement is mixed with some trepidation. We don't have much to do to complete the homestudy, which means we can inquire about the child within a month or so. They are local, which is a blessing as we won't have to do a ton of schlepping. I'm working on the next scrapbook for the child in between homework, teaching at my synagogue, working, and filing out paperwork. Needless to say, life for all of us is very busy. Mama S and I are both in school, but we agreed that I will more than likely take only one class in the Fall while we get acclimated to a potential new child in the family. It will be what it will be though, and we really just need to get there. One step at a time I suppose.

Our first kiddo is doing pretty well for herself living on her own. There have been some struggles, but she is rolling with the punches and has us to have her back when she needs us. I have gotten over my "empty-nester syndrome" for the most part. She has been somewhat stressed over balancing a new job with school, but it will calm down and she will succeed at whatever she puts her mind to. All I can really say is how proud we are of her. She is a joy in our lives and I am SO THANKFUL that we have had her as part of our life.

All the mushy stuff out of the way... ;) We are excited to begin this next part of our journey. I will try to be better about keeping you all up to date via the blog. Be well everyone!